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Sex before Marriage

Here is a video on why you should wait to have sex after you are married.Here is a couple who waited to have sex after they got married.

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7 Responses to “Sex before Marriage”

  1. I think it’s silly to announce at the wedding that they are still virgins.

    My main question is, why wait four years before marrying? My wife and I waited two years and THAT was too long! We have many times since talked about how we could have just gotten married within that first year when we were engaged. Our reason for waiting was just so she could finish another year of college, but couldn’t we have been married at the same time? Certainly! So why not? Long engagements are part of the problem with people not waiting for sexual intimacy.

  2. I disagree – there are lots of parts of wedding ceremonies in Christian circles that say “I’m a virgin”. Purity rings come to mind. My own Dad said in his speech at our wedding that he was proud that my husband and I didn’t live together or sleep together before our wedding day. They were obedient to God for 4 long years, ignoring their human desires – and did what God wanted – that is some reason to be proud!

    There are many reasons to wait before marrying someone. In this case, if you look at the couple, they look very young. They may have had to wait for age, for education. They may have needed more financial stability or employment. Parents may have asked them to wait so that they could provide for themselves more adequately. There could be many reasons why they waited 4 years.

    The longer the relationship, the better chance you have to work out what this person is like. I can’t tell you how many people I know and know of who have jumped into marriage quickly – and it’s all gone to pot – because they didn’t have time to find out who each other really is. My own Grandmother married a man within a year of meeting him, and he abused her terribly – something she may have found out if she dated him longer.

    If you get married quickly because you want to have sex, then it’s not a good start to the life-long relationship. If you take the time to get to know someone for who they truly are and if they are truly compatible – then you will take whatever time is necessary. Marriage is supposed to be forever – you need to make that decision wisely – and that takes time.

    Great video anyway. I really enjoyed it.

  3. The fact that there are symbols of virginity – the white dress, etc – isn’t the issue. I think it’s a bit silly – as well as tacky -to broadcast during the wedding ceremony – “OH Hey! We’re virgins!” The point is, that, especially in a Christian ceremony, they SHOULD BE! And if they aren’t because they succumbed to temptation, is it really everyone’s business?

    Just what is “very young?” That’s another problem with our society. We wring our hands about our young people succumbing to sexual temptations, but we keep them as children until their mid-20s. There is nothing at all wrong with marrying in the late teens as the body was designed – the problem is that we train our children to stay children when in the old days children were trained to be adults and were indeed marrying, raising families and farming, ranching, etc in their late teens!

    There is nothing at all wrong with marrying and still continuing in school, if school is what you want. To say one can’t get married until school is complete is bogus. Give me one good reason why anyone should wait four years, let alone two!

    I never intimated one gets married quickly just to have sex – my point is that you increase the temptation the longer you wait because you are developing an emotional and spiritual intimacy which does indeed culminate in physical intimacy – that is the natural outcome as God designed it. And if you don’t know someone well enough to marry them after a year, then you aren’t paying attention!

  4. Just because a couple are Christians – it doesn’t exclude them from sin. Yes they SHOULD be virgins – but in reality not all Christian couples are. Maybe in Australia, this isn’t so unusual. All my husband’s cousins (the most recent weddings I have been to) made it known that they had not touched each other while dating – though they didn’t announce is at bluntly as that. I do agree that the way it was done was rather unusual.

    What I consider very young is underage. They looked very young in their photos taken together – like they were high school sweethearts. Their wedding video they look like they are in their very early 20’s. I think they didn’t marry for 4 years because they were too young – by law.

    No there is nothing wrong with marrying from 18 onward – in the eyes of the law. I would be more concerned about if the couple are mature enough to handle marriage or not. But that is up to each individual. Considering that most 18 year olds have only just finished high school – they have not had the opportunity to live an adult life, – and most are not ready for marriage and the responsibility that comes with it. A few generations ago, this may not have been the case – but this is how it is for this day and age.

    I know of many Christian people my age saying “I married so young, before I even grasped what being an adult meant!” – and these Christian people are hurting, suffering and their children are hurting and suffering too. Older generations will sniff at it – but it’s a very real issue.

    The good reason for waiting 4 years? Well it depends on the couple… but I can think of a few:
    1. The couple are too young
    2. They have no financial means of supporting themselves once they have married.
    3. Parents may have asked them to wait – and out of respect and honor for the parents – they did.

    Sex out of marriage is wrong. Having long term relationships DOES make it harder to stay pure. I agree completely. But I would rather see a couple hold off for a little while until they are completely ready to embark on a life-long journey than end up divorced or in an unhappy marriage. A good pre-marital counsellor should pick up if they were ready or not anyway – as well as the parents of the couple – if they are paying attention.

  5. Looking young doesn’t translate to young. My daughter-in-law was 18 when my son married her (he was 20), but she looked 13! 8 1/2 years and 3 kids later she still looks about 16.

    My request for reasons not to get married assumed those underage have to wait so age is not a consideration I’m referring to. Financial support is misleading. If two people are living apart and financially able to do so then they can the more so do it as a team. When we married, on the face of it we had little financial support. I had been working only a year after leaving the Army, and I had virtually no savings due to spending to set myself up with an apartment, a car, etc and then two months before we married I was laid off and working a couple part-time jobs waiting to be called back to work. I couldn’t afford a tux! My wife’s parents took care of my tux. Our honey moon was a camping trip to a state park. We then lived payday to payday for many years, including with two kids, but we never went after luxury. We slowly built to buy a house and improved job situations so that by the time our children were hitting their teens were were in the middle-class. The point is, you work together as husband and wife. And my wife DID NOT work outside the home once we married; we married relying on one income so that when we had children the mother would always be there. Too many people nowadays wait until they can buy the dream house and they have to have everything that people took 30 years to acquire.

    As for not marrying because of parents request, that is not valid. Once you are an adult you are no longer bound by your parent’s requests – you may consider them, but not mandated to follow. To many parents control their children that way.

    So I’m still waiting for a good reason, once of marriageable age, why people should wait if they are ready for marriage.

  6. In your opinion none of these reasons are valid. That’s ok – you are entitled to your own opinion – just as I am entitled to mine. And I believe all reasons given are valid reasons. I haven’t got time to argue about it all with you – and I would think it rather pointless anyway – your mind is set in stone. What you did is great – but it’s also very obvious that in your time things were very different.

  7. You actually made me laugh about in my time things being different. I got married in 1976! Things really aren’t that much different, except kids are kept children even longer now than in “my time.”

    I think I demonstrated why I don’t think your reasons are valid – logically so.

    The financial aspect is the big thing I see – too many people want everything handed to them or else acquire it easily. I watch so many young people nowadays not really wanting to work for anything, rather they just charge what they want and go into marriage already in debt! But it isn’t insurmountable. I still think if two people are ready for marriage, worrying about the financial aspect is the last thing to worry about; you grow together working to make a life together. But you have to be willing to work together!


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